My boyfriend wants me to send him Unclad pictures. What do I do?
– Em*
– Em*
Well done for asking yourself this question. It shows good judgment
to stop and think about the possible downsides of a situation. In fact,
you’re probably asking because your gut is telling you it’s not a good
idea. Trust your instincts.
Sharing pictures may seem private. But in reality, nothing digital is
ever 100% guaranteed private. Once a picture’s out there, you can’t
take it back. And you can’t control where it ends up. The best way to
avoid any problems is not to take the picture in the first place.
It’s natural to want to make your boyfriend happy, so it may seem
hard to say no to a request like this. But here’s the thing: If your
boyfriend is a good guy, he’ll have more respect for you when you stay
true to your values.
Saying no is a chance to help your relationship grow by letting your boyfriend know more about what you believe and stand for.
You can let your boyfriend down without making him feel like a creep
for asking. Just make it about you. For example, here are some ideas on
what you might say:
“I don’t feel comfortable with that. I know you won’t share my
pictures, but I once forwarded a message to the wrong person by mistake
and I felt terrible afterward. I don’t want there to be any chance of
that.”
“I don’t feel comfortable with that. What if your mom/dad/little
brother/school roommate got hold of your phone and saw it? What if MY
mom or dad saw it?”
“Photos can be so cold and impersonal. They just don’t have the same
meaning as being together. What I’d really like is to share pictures
like the ones of the bike ride we took last week. Then we don’t have to
worry about other people seeing them. And it reminds me how great it
feels to be with you and how much fun we have together.”
This whole situation may scream “AWKWARD!” But it’s a good way to
learn about your relationship. For starters, you’ll get clues into your
boyfriend’s personality. If he understands and accepts that you don’t
want to send Unclad pictures, it’s a sign he respects and cares for you.
But if he still tries to get photos from you (like if he says “don’t
worry, I’ll delete them right away!”wink, it’s a red flag: If he cares
for you, why put you in a situation that upsets you or makes you
uncomfortable?
The situation also gives you clues about yourself. If you worry about
saying no, is it a self-esteem issue? Or is it because your BF is more
controlling about the relationship? Where’s the real pressure coming
from? Is your BF pressuring you or are you pressuring yourself in an
attempt to make him happy?
So why do people send sexy pictures? Some people mistake it for a way
to feel closer. But it’s actually a false sense of closeness. Photos
can’t replace being together and talking about the things you both
consider private and personal.
Sharing like this helps your bond grow stronger because you see the
other person’s reaction and pick up on his feelings. That doesn’t happen
when you hit “send” on a photograph.
So let your instincts guide you, and take pride in the fact that you know yourself!
Someone once sent me over 20 pictures of his girlfriend pleaded me to
leak the whole pictures on internet because the girl hurt him.
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