So are you considering dating or perhaps, getting married to a single
mother?! an American author named Shawn James has this week wrote a
controversial essay titled ‘Why Real Men Avoid Single Mothers’ – giving 15 solid reasons why men should not date single mothers.
The essay has really caused a stir on Social media and we were thoughtful to share it with you guys.
WARNING: Single moms are at this point, warned that they’re
not going to like the below essay. They should also note that the
opinion was not written but was shared by the author of YBL.
1. Never Available. A single Mother’s schedule is never open.
Single mothers are the kind of women to always cancel dates at the
last minute. Something always gets in the way of a man spending time
with her. It’s hard to have a relationship with her because she’s never
there.
2. YOU are NOT a priority.
Usually in a relationship the man winds up DEAD LAST. Behind, her
kids, her job, the car, the kitchen sink, the stopped up toilet. Even
the dog gets more attention and affection than a man involved with a
single mother. Any man who gets involved with a single mother winds up a
fifth stringer in a relationship. And he rarely ever gets called up to
play.
3. Thinks the world revolves around HER and ONLY HER.
A single mother is one of the biggest narcissists on the dating
scene. She often thinks that a man has to drop everything in his life to
be part of hers and her kids. They’re so selfish they don’t think a man
has needs, wants or a life of his own. He’s just supposed to be there
to give her everything she wants in life.
4. Emotionally Unavailable
Most Single mothers cannot form an intimate connection with a man
because her feelings are invested in other people. Usually her primary
focus is on her children.
In addition to dedicating herself to her children, most single
mothers have given their hearts to someone else- their children’s
father. And those feelings she still has for him will always prevent her
from getting closer to you. There will always be some distance between a
single mother and the new man in her life.
5. The ex/ Baby Daddy is ALWAYS THERE.
A man just doesn’t deal with a single mother. He deals with her ex or
her baby daddy as well. And this guy is always hovering around like a
helicopter looking to c*ckblock you. Some of these guys still think they
have a shot at getting back with her. Others just don’t want to see her
happy. A lot of these dudes want to f!ght over her.
Seriously, it’s a game they’re playing with each other. And they’ll
be playing that game with each other until their children turn 18 or 21.
Head for the exit. It’s just not worth dealing with this fool and his
insecure bullshyt.
6. The kids are working AGAINST YOU
When dealing with a single mother you also deal with Kids. Kids who
still in their little heart of hearts think that Dad will come back and
love them.
Seriously, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.
7. Those kids will HATE YOU.
They will act out to keep you from getting closer to mommy. They will
make accusations against you to get you in trouble. Again, it’s just
not worth dealing with the bullsh*t to get with a female. There are four
billion women in the world. You can find a quality female who doesn’t
carry all this baggage or give you this much grief.
8. Entitled attitude
Single mothers think because she had a baby out of wedlock the world
owes her EVERYTHING. And she thinks she’s the one who deserves the best.
Even though she’s usually collecting welfare, food stamps, or child
support, in eyes she’s still supposed to be treated like she’s a queen
because she popped a kid out of her v*gina.
In their deluded distorted vision of the world Men are still supposed
to take her out to the finest restaurants and buy them lots of
expensive stuff. And he’s supposed to take care of her kids too, buying
them whatever they want while taking a blind eye to their bad behavior.
9. Distorted self-image
Single mothers still thinks she’s as sexy like she was before she had
a baby. Only she doesn’t understand how her body has changed. In some
cases for the worse.
Single mothers are the type to try to squeeze themselves into sexy
outfits like low-rise jeans and cropped T-shirts to show off their belly
button, not seeing the muffin top and stretch marks squeezing out over
the top of their pants. They’re the type to stuff themselves into slinky
spandex dresses, (not aware of that gut, and the cellulite on their
asses) and head out to the club. She thinks men are supposed to run up
on her offering to buy her drinks. And because a few thirsty simps step
to her, she thinks she’s still got it. But the only people who wants
what she has to offer are scavengers at the bottom of the social scene.
10. Always the victim.
Single Mothers never take responsibility for their actions. The
situation they’re in is always the fault of that “no good man”, “these
damn kids” their mother or someone else. They never take any time to do
any self-examination or make any efforts to change their lives. They’re
still looking for some Rich Incredibly Handsome Man™ to put on a cape
and play Captain Save-A-Hoe™, sweep her off her feet and take her out of
the troubling situation she helped make.
11. Jekyll & Hyde Personality.
A single mother will be the sweetest thing when a man first dates
her, but a few months into a relationship she turns into a NUTJOB. A man
will usually see glimpses of this when she chastises her kids when he
first meets them. During that meeting she’ll yell at them and bully them
to get them to act right while praising a man like he’s an angel.
It’s all an act. Heaven will turn into Hell around the six month mark.
Once a single mother gets a man settled into her life it’s not common
for her to start verbally abusing him and mocking him as she projects
all that pent-up rage from those previous failed relationships onto him.
And it’s usually around this point that most men realize why this woman
is single and why it’s time for him to hit the exit door.
12. Drama Queen.
Because a single mother always sees herself as a victim of society,
she’s always talking about her problems. And she always has a new
trouble to bring everyone. There’s never a good day in the life of a
single mother because there’s always some new crisis about to emerge in
her life.
The reason single mothers need the drama is because it makes them
feel important. It makes people pay attention to them. And when
Captain-Save-A-Hoe™ is doting on them trying to solve their problems it
makes them feel an artificial sense of value. They need that value to
deflects people’s attention from how pathetic their lives actually are.
Manipulative In most cases, a single mother has no interest in a man
she’s dating. In a lot of cases she’s just using a guy as a pawn.
13. In most cases she’s dating to make her Baby Baddy jealous.
Deep down in her heart of hearts she believes that if she’s seen with
someone else who sees her as valuable that he’ll see her as valuable
and take her back.
In other cases when she’s not trying to get a rise out of Baby Daddy
she’s playing the sympathy card™ using a guy to get gifts, free dinners
and free drinks out of him. To a single mother, The men in her lives are
just human ATM machines where she whispers a sweet nothing in his ear
like a PIN number and money comes out of his wallet.
And because she’s a drama queen who loves to play the victim, the
Single mother plays to men’s emotions to get them to react in the way
she wants. It’s not common for a single mother to tell her man man about
her baby daddy so he can go f!ght him. Or pit two baby daddies against
each other. Many a man has wound up either dead or in prison because a
single Mother played the victim card™.
14. Dishonest.
A single mother is a LIAR. It’s how she gets what she wants. It’s how
she manipulates people. It’s how she takes care of her kids. It’s how
she survives in this world.
Single mothers lie. And they LIE ALL THE TIME. They lie to men about
their age, their height, their weight, how many kids they have, the job
they do.
On top of the lies they tell to others They lie to themselves. They
lie about about how beautiful they are. They lie telling themselves
they’re still a catch. They lie telling themselves they still have a
chance with a good man. They lie telling themselves that their lives
will be happily ever after one day.
The horrible truth is without those lies most of those single mothers
would realize how pathetic their lives are. How they have no options in
the dating scene. That they’re at the bottom of the barrel in the
dating scene and the only men who want them are pathetic Manginas and
thirsty Simps.
15. Carries Baggage, baggage and more baggage
A single mother has more issues than Time and Newsweek combined. And
when she’s looking for a man, she’s not looking for an equal caring
partner. She’s looking for a Pullman Porter™ to take care of her kids,
and clean up her messes with her childrens’ father. Brothers, don’t let
yourself get sized up for the white jacket and the bow tie!
Anyway, dealing with a single mother is like walking through a
minefield. After several months of being involved with her, it leaves a
man anxious and tense because he doesn’t know where to step that won’t
lead to an explosion that k!lls him.
That’s why Real Men avoid single mothers like disease.
Real men understand life is too short to put up with someone’s drama
and their emotional baggage. We only have a limited time on God’s Earth
and who wants to spend it being a Pullman Porter cleaning up someone
else’s messes. As I stated before in a previous blog, let that woman
take her run over Jimmy Choos and clean up her own mess. She made her
bed, now let her lie in the wet spot.
Don’t date single mothers and don’t waste your time with them. There
are four billion women in this world. If you’re patient, you’ll find a
good one.
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