Recently
a very close friend asked me to be his wife and help build his dreams,
he asked me the same question 12 years ago and I said no. We are quite
close, we have been friends for 15 years and that’s a lot. So when he
asked the same question again 12 years later, I said no again but this
time I asked him why.
He said ‘I am a man,’ he is a man and
I have never doubted that. The explanation I was looking for was why
would you ask me to help you build your dreams without any consideration
for mine. What gave you the audacity to put yourself first?
He said ‘I am man,’ and this truth
helped me to understand a few things that happens in society. For every
woman who has been abused, raped, threatened with abuse, harassed,
brutalised, this is why, he didn’t do it because of you, he did it
because he is a man.
UNWomen
estimates that 35 per cent of women worldwide have experienced either
physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or sexual violence by a
non-partner at some point in their lives. Abuse is alifecycle that
cannot be broken for some women.
They were abused by their fathers,
brothers, uncles, husbands and that’s how it goes on and on and on. My
friend helped me to understand why men who abuse and degrade women do
it. They are men, that’s why.
On Tuesday, a 23-year-old
man was arraigned in Ekiti for slapping and beating his girlfriend
“mercilessly’’ because he heard that she was dating someone else in the
neighborhood.
Why did he do it, He is a man. In 2013, when popular Novelist, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie gave her Ted Talk titled We Should All Be Feminists, she was widely criticized for being so outspoken about the concept of feminism.
Here is a simple definition, Feminism
is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements
that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal
political, economic, personal, and social rights for women.
The concept transcends women walking naked on the streets of America. Feminism is asking for one thing, equality for women.
Some women will grunt at this but the
truth is, the fact that you drive a Range Rover and you a Bank Manager
doesn’t mean you are excluded from the inequality that has eaten deep
into the fabric of our society.
You are not, the fact that you have a
mansion in Banana Island doesn’t mean anything to men who just look at
you and all they see is second class citizen. No one has a right to say
that feminism is not an African thing, it is.
In this Nigerian society, you are
conditioned to not be too successful so that you can find a man who
would be willing to marry you because you can’t be more successful than
your husband. Women are forced to stay in abusive marriages and
relationships because he is a man and for that reason he is lord over
you.
Out of 109 Senators sitting in the
National Assembly, only 7 are female. Think about it. Why can’t our
women aspire to higher callings, why can’t we have 50 female senators in
the National Assembly.
Why are we still discussing Child
Marriage in Nigeria when it should be a thing of the past. Why are there
no strong laws guarding against Rape, Domestic Abuse, Sexual
Harassment?
Over 50% of rape cases go unreported
because the victims know that eventually, they won’t get justice, the
perpetuator will be released to commit more crimes. We should all be
feminist because I want to raise children in society that encourages and
values her women.
Who doesn’t want the same thing. When
Linda Ikeji wrote her long epistle on violence against women, she
forgot one thing, that she is part of the problem. There are hundreds of
women that Linda has put their faces and stories on her blog without
thinking about the effect it will have on their families and their
relatives.
The pen they say is mightier than the
sword, that is why Linda Ikeji has become undoubtedly one of the most
influential women in Africa. Why is it that she has never said anything
about violence against women prior to WizKid’s threat?
If Linda puts up a small classified
advert on violence against women on her blog, think about how this will
help the global cause.
We should all be feminists and it
starts with you and I, male and female. We should all be feminists and
its more than just words, take action!
Jumoke Adekanye is the Founder of Araba.
Jumoke is committed to empowering female entrepreneurs and career women
to live up to their true potential and succeed in all their endeavors.
Jumoke is a Content Writer, Social Media Whiz and Dream Catcher. Connect
with her on Twitter @Susiebull
Source: Olorisupergal
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